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about

2012 All songs written and performed by Jasper The Colossal, lyrics Paige Beller. Recorded by Greg Weisheit, album art by Jerry Barber.

credits

released 22 June 2012

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all rights reserved

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about

Jasper the Colossal Dayton, Ohio

we play rock and roll.

we have played rock and roll in:

Dayton. Ohio. New York. New Jersey. Kentucky. Indiana.
West Virginia. Tennessee. Texas. Arizona. California.

we have been privileged to play rock and roll with:

R. Ring. Girl In A Coma. The Dollyrots. Sick of Sarah. Hunter Valentine.
Vanity Theft. Murphy's Law. The Slackers. Miss Derringer. The Story Changes.
... more

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Track Name: Whine-o
i'm sorry i got drunk
and ruined your good time
i was just so busy stomping
all my problems into wine

it wasn't anything you did
i just can't handle this
you were nice enough
yeah you were nice enough
..................................
but absolut came calling
and we've been friends for so long
that by the time i sobered up
on the floor and you were gone

i can't put it all on that
i don't plan on quitting soon
so it's only fair
i guess i have to quit you
...................................
now i know it wasn't
the alcohol that hurt you
that was me i didn't
mean to but i did

there's nothing that you could've done
i just can't handle you
you shouldn't have to wait
and i won't ask you to
......................................
i think you see me in ten different ways
don't know that tomorrow's will be like today's
i always act like i've got something to say
but i don't

i'm sorry i started that fight
i'm sorry that i fell apart
you waited patiently
delicately lent your heart

i'm sorry i got drunk
and ruined your good time
i was just so busy stomping
all my problems into wine
Track Name: Back Of The Crowd
watching you watching me from the back of the crowd
you wanna storm out of the room instead you stand there so proud
i see your eyes paralyze every person around
it's pretty obvious that later on is gonna get loud

i don't know what you want me to say
it doesn't matter cause you never listen anyway
you tie me up tie me down cause you want me to stay
you just don't get that that's the thing that's gonna push me away
.....................................................................................
cause you knew exactly what this was
you're just a phase a just because
and you just don't fit into my world
get it through your head, i'm not your girl
.....................................................................................
you said you were looking for something clean
that you were caught up in a space you needed something between
now i am finding out that that's not what you mean
that doesn't change the way i feel, now let's not make this a scene

i don't care what you're thinking we are
you're just something to pass the time i told you that from the start
i didn't try to go breaking your heart
i tried to warn you that this wasn't gonna go very far
Track Name: Friends Like You
tell me, was she worth it?
you swore she stole your heart
but was it really worth it
to rip your best friend apart?

let's do the calculations
let's say you really take a stab
she will not be around
the way you know that i would have

you lied you swore you understood

with friends like you...

you think you're fucking clever?
you swore, you swore i'd never know
all this cloak and dagger
well now your covers' been blown

and you'll explain everything
but no, no you won't take the blame
facts stricken from the record
the only thing that will remain

is you lied you swore you understood

with friends like you....

you traded trust for lust
you swore, you swore it meant nothing
lowered your inhibitions
and afterwards you fled the scene

burned all the evidence
removed the knife and cleaned the blade
but was your friendship worth you getting laid?
Track Name: I Think I'm Losing My Mind
walking down this hallway and i cannot seem to concentrate
already hit the floor 4 times during this dizzy state
i'm walking around today like i haven't got a fucking clue
i'm the one that's fucked up and i'm wondering what's wrong with you?

i think i'm losing my mind once again

hypocrite to hates on hypocrites, i'm always first to contradict
for someone with low self esteem, i can't get rid of this shoulder chip
the world don't owe me anything but i'd give it all for a night of sleep
i haven't slept in days and now i think i might be seeing things

i think i'm losing my mind once again

pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis
and the sound of it is simply quite atrocious
and i know that that was pointless nothing to do with the former text
but hey, i'm losing my mind i don't really have to make much sense

all the stress of the bar scene, all the drama and the politics
listen to people's bullshit and i'm really getting sick of it
there's too many stupid people, the world would be better off without them
forget jumping off the deep end, i've already hit the bottom
Track Name: Bridges
hi my name is paige
i won't remember you tomorrow
don't take it personally
cause it's not you it's me

see i'm too busy feeling sorry for myself
so everyone i love just takes a backseat

i've given everything i have
to get me nowhere
i know that life's not supposed to be fair

but fear is so unbiased
you'd get it if you tried it on for size
it's quite unbearable

to watch kids half your age take stage
and have their whole lives ahead of them

i used to be one
...................................................................
how many times do you think people pass out
while trying to hold their breath over bridges?
breathing in deep and their holding in tight
and they're crashing their cars
all over wishes
....................................................................
hi my name is paige
i won't remember you tomorrow
now i'm gonna catch a ride
to my basement apartment

and watch taped episodes of Daria from 2001
and i'll probably play guitar

while i inhale the fumes that kill the fleas that crawl on me at night
it's just for now, so i guess it's alright

i guess that i should take what i can get since
one day i'll be homeless

and sometimes i scare myself to death
that i've been willing to bet my whole life on this roulette

well all bets are off now
...............................................................................
i want things that everybody wants but won't receive
we can't all be race car drivers and rocks stars on tv
i've spent most of my adult life chasing after dreams
waiting for a day to come where i might get lucky

cause most times
it's not up to me
and i've been watching other people achieving things
that i can only dream
Track Name: Liar, Liar Pants On...Whoa
i'm sorry if your hair catches fire
but i've been burning holes in the back of your head all night

you mistook my desires for trying to get in your pants
but i just want the things that you said

you said you got this, princess

found out that you're a liar and all of your desires
were laid in bedtime stories

if looks could kill than you'd be dead
...............................................................................
i've spent so many hours
trying to figure out why
and i can't say that i blame you
but i can sure as hell try
...............................................................................
i'm sorry if you misunderstood me
but i was pretty sure that i was being honest with you

while driving down 45 i squeezed your hand so tight
as i passed out in the passenger seat

and somehow i slept soundly

but there were way too many miles, too many other women
and way too much denial
but i can't forget the things we said
Track Name: Less Of Me
i can't handle defeat
but i can feel you secrete
out of my pores you're inside me
just trying to find me

so scared you'll want me to leave

i just can't get any rest
you'll see i get so depressed
that it seeps out of my chest
and it chokes out the best of me
test me i'm sure you'll want less of me
..........................
so now i'm running astray
i want so badly to stay
so i don't care what i say
no i don't care what i say
don't let me get away
..........................
i just keep pulling these stunts
and while i think i've been blunt
your friends will think what they want
they probably think i'm a cunt

but people think what they want

just hope they don't convince you
that what i'm trying to do
is turn you to something new
to take your life and just skew it
i get it
i just might ruin it
..........................
i can't stand the
way you make me
feel when i'm alone

counting seconds
biting nails
down until the bone

so baby let's go home
Track Name: Mirror
i'm too pessimistic
it's slightly masochistic
the way these lips spit our pure shit
the smile's never full

just a half smirk behind happy eyes
and behind it all is me
scaring myself too bad to fall asleep
....................................................
that look that's on your face
takes everything away
and leaves me here to see
what has become of me

and every time you go
no confidence to show
all i see is fear
i hate this fucking mirror
...................................................
i could be just fine
all rainbows and sunshine
if i would just admit
that things will never change

but i'm so tired of the shakes
and all the stomach aches
so all that's left to do is fall asleep
.................................................
it's raining here again
so i sit here and pretend
that if i step off of this curb
that i will surely drown

so i cling to the street
and hope somehow
i keep myself from falling down
Track Name: Suspect
i'm wasted out of my head again
i've tasted something i can't explain
you're tired of trying to understand
i'm wired to never let you in

i think you're starting to suspect me

you're sleeping because you've had enough
can't blame you, the water's getting rough
i've held on too tight to have control
still hold on, the water's getting cold

i think you're starting to suspect me

i'm wasted, too drunk to even stand
i'm trying to keep a steady hand
you're holding on to a mystery
i'm lying and you can't even see

i think you're starting to suspect me
Track Name: I Tried That
just walk away
i'm telling you i tried that
fuck it, i tried that
and i can't seem to get away
..........................................
i tried and i tried
and you said goodbye
but drunken nights bring sober hearts
you always seem to come right back to me
.............................................
so just leave
well i'm telling you i tried that
fuck it, i tried that
and i can't seem to get away from me
..............................................
and you tell me to leave
to fuck off
that you're gone
well i'm telling you i tried that
fuck it, i tried that
and i always feels like i have won
Track Name: I Still Don't Get It
i grew up with dirty fucking kids with dirty fucking mouths
middle fingers in the air and our tongues hanging out
having sex behind the bowling alley, drink until we feel good
pack a day chain smoking, skating till our boards were broken

and we talked talked talked but we never said anything
and we walked walked walked but we never did anything

just wandered round all night and slept through the day
never cared never worried about what they had to say
..................................................................................
they say
i'd better go to college
and get a real job
and start a family
we didn't get it
...................................................................................
well now it's six years later and some of them are married
a couple of them have kids and a couple are buried
some signed their lives away to a war overseas
and then a couple make a living dancing 'round on their knees

and now all my old friends have gone all their separate ways
and now i'm still here and i'm still looking for a stage

still wander around all night and sleep through the day
never care, never worry about what they have to say
Track Name: Take Me
if there's any part
you may have missed
i'll sleep on your couch
and play you this
i don't eat much
i don't take up much room

and every morning
when you wake
you'll know that i am
yours to take
so take me home
take me where you're goin'
.....................................
it comes on like
a hurricane
i feel the wind
in every vein
how i want you how
i need you now i need you to tell me
what'd you do to me?
.....................................
my world is veiled
by small lies
and when we kiss
they all collide
and make a mess
of what i thought of myself

you pick me apart
piece by piece
without you saying
anything
you scoop me up
and take me where you're going
.....................................
there's nothing wrong
with all of this
it don't make sense
but i'm used to it
it could work out
maybe it won't

i think i've held
this all too high
and i don't know that
it's worth the try
but i wasn't doing
anything else today
Track Name: You're Running The Show
you've been breaking my heart
since you've been taking apart
everything he didn't see, but i do

and i can't help but need you
want to believe you
but just cause it's right
don't mean you'll tell me the truth
.....................................................................
then you flipped the switch
you've mastered the trick in the 3rd act
i cannot react properly with you still on top of me
stopping me
letting me know that you're running the show
......................................................................
and i wish that you wanted me
we're just collecting me just to reject me
saw me in two

and i wish that i had some sense of health for myself
so i could stop following you
.........................................................................
and i have to question your creativity
cause you told him the same thing you said to me
verbatim
it's like you ran out of heart
collected it, pushed us right back to the start

and i have to question my own sanity
cause the signs leading up were all screaming at me

i am coming to find that you're already inside me
bagging and tying every thought
to use them against me
use them to jest me when we talk
you thought you'd never get caught