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1.
03:17
i'm sorry i got drunk and ruined your good time i was just so busy stomping all my problems into wine it wasn't anything you did i just can't handle this you were nice enough yeah you were nice enough .................................. but absolut came calling and we've been friends for so long that by the time i sobered up on the floor and you were gone i can't put it all on that i don't plan on quitting soon so it's only fair i guess i have to quit you ................................... now i know it wasn't the alcohol that hurt you that was me i didn't mean to but i did there's nothing that you could've done i just can't handle you you shouldn't have to wait and i won't ask you to ...................................... i think you see me in ten different ways don't know that tomorrow's will be like today's i always act like i've got something to say but i don't i'm sorry i started that fight i'm sorry that i fell apart you waited patiently delicately lent your heart i'm sorry i got drunk and ruined your good time i was just so busy stomping all my problems into wine
2.
watching you watching me from the back of the crowd you wanna storm out of the room instead you stand there so proud i see your eyes paralyze every person around it's pretty obvious that later on is gonna get loud i don't know what you want me to say it doesn't matter cause you never listen anyway you tie me up tie me down cause you want me to stay you just don't get that that's the thing that's gonna push me away ..................................................................................... cause you knew exactly what this was you're just a phase a just because and you just don't fit into my world get it through your head, i'm not your girl ..................................................................................... you said you were looking for something clean that you were caught up in a space you needed something between now i am finding out that that's not what you mean that doesn't change the way i feel, now let's not make this a scene i don't care what you're thinking we are you're just something to pass the time i told you that from the start i didn't try to go breaking your heart i tried to warn you that this wasn't gonna go very far
3.
tell me, was she worth it? you swore she stole your heart but was it really worth it to rip your best friend apart? let's do the calculations let's say you really take a stab she will not be around the way you know that i would have you lied you swore you understood with friends like you... you think you're fucking clever? you swore, you swore i'd never know all this cloak and dagger well now your covers' been blown and you'll explain everything but no, no you won't take the blame facts stricken from the record the only thing that will remain is you lied you swore you understood with friends like you.... you traded trust for lust you swore, you swore it meant nothing lowered your inhibitions and afterwards you fled the scene burned all the evidence removed the knife and cleaned the blade but was your friendship worth you getting laid?
4.
walking down this hallway and i cannot seem to concentrate already hit the floor 4 times during this dizzy state i'm walking around today like i haven't got a fucking clue i'm the one that's fucked up and i'm wondering what's wrong with you? i think i'm losing my mind once again hypocrite to hates on hypocrites, i'm always first to contradict for someone with low self esteem, i can't get rid of this shoulder chip the world don't owe me anything but i'd give it all for a night of sleep i haven't slept in days and now i think i might be seeing things i think i'm losing my mind once again pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis and the sound of it is simply quite atrocious and i know that that was pointless nothing to do with the former text but hey, i'm losing my mind i don't really have to make much sense all the stress of the bar scene, all the drama and the politics listen to people's bullshit and i'm really getting sick of it there's too many stupid people, the world would be better off without them forget jumping off the deep end, i've already hit the bottom
5.
03:43
hi my name is paige i won't remember you tomorrow don't take it personally cause it's not you it's me see i'm too busy feeling sorry for myself so everyone i love just takes a backseat i've given everything i have to get me nowhere i know that life's not supposed to be fair but fear is so unbiased you'd get it if you tried it on for size it's quite unbearable to watch kids half your age take stage and have their whole lives ahead of them i used to be one ................................................................... how many times do you think people pass out while trying to hold their breath over bridges? breathing in deep and their holding in tight and they're crashing their cars all over wishes .................................................................... hi my name is paige i won't remember you tomorrow now i'm gonna catch a ride to my basement apartment and watch taped episodes of Daria from 2001 and i'll probably play guitar while i inhale the fumes that kill the fleas that crawl on me at night it's just for now, so i guess it's alright i guess that i should take what i can get since one day i'll be homeless and sometimes i scare myself to death that i've been willing to bet my whole life on this roulette well all bets are off now ............................................................................... i want things that everybody wants but won't receive we can't all be race car drivers and rocks stars on tv i've spent most of my adult life chasing after dreams waiting for a day to come where i might get lucky cause most times it's not up to me and i've been watching other people achieving things that i can only dream
6.
i'm sorry if your hair catches fire but i've been burning holes in the back of your head all night you mistook my desires for trying to get in your pants but i just want the things that you said you said you got this, princess found out that you're a liar and all of your desires were laid in bedtime stories if looks could kill than you'd be dead ............................................................................... i've spent so many hours trying to figure out why and i can't say that i blame you but i can sure as hell try ............................................................................... i'm sorry if you misunderstood me but i was pretty sure that i was being honest with you while driving down 45 i squeezed your hand so tight as i passed out in the passenger seat and somehow i slept soundly but there were way too many miles, too many other women and way too much denial but i can't forget the things we said
7.
05:14
i can't handle defeat but i can feel you secrete out of my pores you're inside me just trying to find me so scared you'll want me to leave i just can't get any rest you'll see i get so depressed that it seeps out of my chest and it chokes out the best of me test me i'm sure you'll want less of me .......................... so now i'm running astray i want so badly to stay so i don't care what i say no i don't care what i say don't let me get away .......................... i just keep pulling these stunts and while i think i've been blunt your friends will think what they want they probably think i'm a cunt but people think what they want just hope they don't convince you that what i'm trying to do is turn you to something new to take your life and just skew it i get it i just might ruin it .......................... i can't stand the way you make me feel when i'm alone counting seconds biting nails down until the bone so baby let's go home
8.
03:30
i'm too pessimistic it's slightly masochistic the way these lips spit our pure shit the smile's never full just a half smirk behind happy eyes and behind it all is me scaring myself too bad to fall asleep .................................................... that look that's on your face takes everything away and leaves me here to see what has become of me and every time you go no confidence to show all i see is fear i hate this fucking mirror ................................................... i could be just fine all rainbows and sunshine if i would just admit that things will never change but i'm so tired of the shakes and all the stomach aches so all that's left to do is fall asleep ................................................. it's raining here again so i sit here and pretend that if i step off of this curb that i will surely drown so i cling to the street and hope somehow i keep myself from falling down
9.
03:14
i'm wasted out of my head again i've tasted something i can't explain you're tired of trying to understand i'm wired to never let you in i think you're starting to suspect me you're sleeping because you've had enough can't blame you, the water's getting rough i've held on too tight to have control still hold on, the water's getting cold i think you're starting to suspect me i'm wasted, too drunk to even stand i'm trying to keep a steady hand you're holding on to a mystery i'm lying and you can't even see i think you're starting to suspect me
10.
02:04
just walk away i'm telling you i tried that fuck it, i tried that and i can't seem to get away .......................................... i tried and i tried and you said goodbye but drunken nights bring sober hearts you always seem to come right back to me ............................................. so just leave well i'm telling you i tried that fuck it, i tried that and i can't seem to get away from me .............................................. and you tell me to leave to fuck off that you're gone well i'm telling you i tried that fuck it, i tried that and i always feels like i have won
11.
i grew up with dirty fucking kids with dirty fucking mouths middle fingers in the air and our tongues hanging out having sex behind the bowling alley, drink until we feel good pack a day chain smoking, skating till our boards were broken and we talked talked talked but we never said anything and we walked walked walked but we never did anything just wandered round all night and slept through the day never cared never worried about what they had to say .................................................................................. they say i'd better go to college and get a real job and start a family we didn't get it ................................................................................... well now it's six years later and some of them are married a couple of them have kids and a couple are buried some signed their lives away to a war overseas and then a couple make a living dancing 'round on their knees and now all my old friends have gone all their separate ways and now i'm still here and i'm still looking for a stage still wander around all night and sleep through the day never care, never worry about what they have to say
12.
02:28
if there's any part you may have missed i'll sleep on your couch and play you this i don't eat much i don't take up much room and every morning when you wake you'll know that i am yours to take so take me home take me where you're goin' ..................................... it comes on like a hurricane i feel the wind in every vein how i want you how i need you now i need you to tell me what'd you do to me? ..................................... my world is veiled by small lies and when we kiss they all collide and make a mess of what i thought of myself you pick me apart piece by piece without you saying anything you scoop me up and take me where you're going ..................................... there's nothing wrong with all of this it don't make sense but i'm used to it it could work out maybe it won't i think i've held this all too high and i don't know that it's worth the try but i wasn't doing anything else today
13.
you've been breaking my heart since you've been taking apart everything he didn't see, but i do and i can't help but need you want to believe you but just cause it's right don't mean you'll tell me the truth ..................................................................... then you flipped the switch you've mastered the trick in the 3rd act i cannot react properly with you still on top of me stopping me letting me know that you're running the show ...................................................................... and i wish that you wanted me we're just collecting me just to reject me saw me in two and i wish that i had some sense of health for myself so i could stop following you ......................................................................... and i have to question your creativity cause you told him the same thing you said to me verbatim it's like you ran out of heart collected it, pushed us right back to the start and i have to question my own sanity cause the signs leading up were all screaming at me i am coming to find that you're already inside me bagging and tying every thought to use them against me use them to jest me when we talk you thought you'd never get caught

about

2012 All songs written and performed by Jasper The Colossal, lyrics Paige Beller. Recorded by Greg Weisheit, album art by Jerry Barber.

credits

released June 22, 2012

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all rights reserved

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about

Jasper the Colossal Dayton, Ohio

we play rock and roll.

we have played rock and roll in:

Dayton. Ohio. New York. New Jersey. Kentucky. Indiana.
West Virginia. Tennessee. Texas. Arizona. California.

we have been privileged to play rock and roll with:

R. Ring. Girl In A Coma. The Dollyrots. Sick of Sarah. Hunter Valentine.
Vanity Theft. Murphy's Law. The Slackers. Miss Derringer. The Story Changes.
... more

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